Juulsborg, 18th April 1750
This afternoon, watercress shares have rocketed on rumours of an unexpected and sudden demand. Merchants from across the province of Nordsax have reported a tripling in prices offered by the region’s famous cress farms, cashing in on the opportunity.
The source of this surge is not yet clear, but the likelihood is that it has something to do with the foreign armies currently disembarking at some of our northern ports.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Jeppe Blindenhopper, 45, from Tøvenslapper near Juulsborg. “I’ve had tentative orders for over 1,000 crates of the stuff, which will clear me out if it comes true. The main problem is getting the help to harvest it at this time of year, because we’ve got none of the overseas students doing their Grand Tour at this time of year. Those gentlemen usually come in the summer months.”
Signe Klarphøver, 23, blonde hair, from Dalper near Mallingsborg, said, “There’s been a lot of coming and going, I’ve never seen so many ships in my life, big ones, little ones. That’s a lot of mouths to feed and cress is full of goodness yet to be discovered by science, so I imagine they want to make a lot of good Brøndkarsesuppe, especially for those big, brave grenadiers. My, there are so many of them and they’re so… shiny!”
The current price for a box of cress now stands at 7k 50c, three times its price a day ago.
Salad is overrated – watercress makes your pee go green. Why would we want any?
The Grenouissans will be cresstfallen that they didn’t think of this first